Sunday, October 15, 2006

Life at 80 (mph)




















I have made it. I think it cost me a few years off my life but I did it. The last push was brutal.

The drive to Prince George on Thursday was incredible. The road slices through the mountains and it is stunning to see the river down below. I couldn't look around too much though for fear of plummeting to my death. I think I did this part of the trip in 8 or 10 hours with lots of stops to check out the view. I found a decent roach motel as I pulled in around 10 pm, caught up on some Southpark episodes on cable and was soon snoring away. I brought Baptiste into the hotel room for fresh water but he didn't look too good. Floating sideways once again and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He kept using his right fin to scratch out a last will and testament in the gravel but he didn't even have the strength for that. Luckily he doesn't own more than a plastic statue and 2 plastic aquatic plants.

I left Prince George, BC at 10am Friday and headed for the good old US of A. I got to the border around 5pm and waited in line for a bit and then was told I didn't have proper documentation to make it through since my birth certificate was just a copy and my passport is expired. I gave the border guard the old Jedi Alaska mind trick and looked him straight in the eye and said, "my documents are in order, you will let me go through sir." And lo and behold that's just what he did. I shall next use the powers on the IRS. It made me chuckle to think he was about to send me back into Canada, talk about creating a terrorist threat- I would have strangled the simpleton before he could so much as reach for his radio. "In the future," he said, "bring more documentation." Whatever. Document this you overpaid pencil holder.

So I put the pedal to the metal and was soon in the bizarre world of freeway life in Seattle. The fog closed in and I found myself doing 80mph with about 10 feet of vis. Crazy. Soon the whole truck began to shake and I realized my lumber rack was trying to make the truck go airborn. I pulled over and yanked off the 4x8 sheet of plywood on top, threw it in the ditch, re-strapped my external gas tanks and continued on. I decided to go all the way to Corvallis, OR where my cousin lives. I grabbed a Wendy's burger and a gallon of coffee and raged on. Around 1 am I could feel the wall of unconsciousness approaching. Soon I saw herds of scorpions scuttling across the highway and all the dials in the truck went out of focus. Not a good sign. Just when I was about to throw in the towel Exit 34 West popped out of the fogged and I swung into Corvallis at 2am and hit the pillow. Here's the route, in kilometers because Google is communist.

I got up at 8am and hit the road by 10am Saturday, rocketing on at 80mph I was soon in Ashland, OR where I met a friend from Fairbanks for coffee. Then on again to SF and I pulled intoSausilito around 10pm to find Angela waiting with fresh Won Ton Soup. It was delicious and I fell into a most blissful sleep. It was one of the smaller mileage days but one of the more puckering drives due to the insane freeway speeds.

This morning we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge to our apartment and unpacked the truck up 3 flights of stairs. Thankfully we stretched out before hand as per Willi Shrinx's video. What a lifesaver. Tonight we shall dine extravagantly and then tomorrow starts the job hunt.

Tune in to find out who thinks my time is worth their money!!

-John

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